Emily's conversation about shoes

Today has been a trying day. I am tired. I am tired of being licked, sniffed, snotted on, bashed in the head, screamed at, kicked, and otherwise pummeled. I am tired of worrying. Tired of doctors. Tired of recurring GI issues. Tired of schools. Tired of stares. Just flat out tired. Today, all I can do is just pray and give the Lord 100% of all of this. I don't have any strength of my own to do this anymore...not that I ever did. Then the Lord gave me the following dose of perspective, and it made my day:

Today was also a terrible allergy day for Alex, so I decided to keep him inside. Laura wanted to go out, and while Alex was occupied with schoolwork, I let her go out back. Emily, stripped to the diaper, also wanted to go outside. She has been uber cranky today and did not nap, so I kept trying to get her to make her lay down. (Not to mention that I am weary to the core and not up to chasing her around the yard.) She kept leading me by the hand to the back door, saying, "C'mon Ma!" She finally got distracted. A while later, she came up to me with this look--like a lighbulb moment. "Shoes!" she said happily. "Shoes, shoes, shoes! C'mon Ma! Shoes! One...Two...Three! Bye! Bye! Let's go! Shoes...NOW! One...Twoooooooo!"

She was desperately trying to tell me that she needed shoes in order to go outside because she thought that was the reason I was keeping her in. She was recalling all the scripts she has ever heard about shoes, and relaying them to me to make me understand. Almost everyday, I tell the kids, "Shoes! Shoes! Shoes! Everybody get your shoes on!" If the kids are moving sluggishly, and I need to get them out the door, I count "One. Two. Three! Bye-bye guys! I'm going!" Or I'll say, "Let's go!" Or if things get really hairy, "Shoes! NOW!" And if all of this fails, I use my old One Two Three Magic line, "One...Twoooooooooooooo!" (I rarely have to get to three. It is a beautiful system.) Emily was quoting me...with meaning!

It took me a minute to realize what had just happened, but the moment it sunk in, it was profound.

And three makes a complete set

I took the kids back to the developmental pedi for Laura's appointment. She has some great social skills, but she is also on the spectrum. She will also have more learning difficulties than Alex and probably Emily. It hurts, even though I can't say I was surprised. I was hopeful that she would not be on the spectrum--her oddness is nothing like the other two--but here we are. She *is* a princess. She eats, sleeps, drinks, dreams princess stuff. It is so cute that I forget that this level of obsession isn't normal. But, what is cute for a 5.5 year old will not be cute in a few years.

On the other hand, I had the most wonderful exchange with Emily today! She sat on my lap and had a conversation with me! A first! She was feeding a tiny toy dog some pretend cookies and cocoa on a tray, and here is our exchange:

Me: Emily, what is that? Is it a cookie?
Em: Yeah! Cookie!
Me: Is this a cookie? (Pointing at the cocoa)
Em: YES!
Me: No, that's not a cookie! (Tickling)
Em: There's a cookie! (Pointing at a box of cracker)
Me: Silly girl, that's a cracker!
Em: Nooooooooooo, cooooooooooookie!
Me: Nooooooooooo, cracker!
Em: CWACKER!

This was just music to my ears!

Update

I spoke with the psy today. She told me she would have the social worker review Em's info because they were together today, and call me back. She called back less than 30 mins later and said that they saw "autistic tendencies" in Emily, but not enough to place her in the autism program. She said that she observed her playing "tea party" and appropriately interacting with her classmates. I really think she was observing some other child. Then she said that our doctor had diagnosed Emily as PDD-NOS, not autism. I corrected her that he wrote that she was diagnosed with high functioning autism bordering on PDD-NOS. "Oh, I must have misread that," was her reply. Yeah. Take 5 minutes to look at all that information and I'm not surprised she got it wrong. But, whatever. She discussed the CARS--we rated her as a 33, and her teacher rated her as a 23. Then she said that she and the social worker discussed this and they thought we should place Emily in the special education preschool and reevaluate for the autism program next year. I explained that we have been down this road before with Alex and that I would rather err on the side of caution, enroll Emily in the autism program now, and reevaluate for the special education program later. I know there is an opening in the program, so it is just a matter of getting her in there. She is going to talk to the director of the autism program and get back to me.

Why does all of this have to be such a fight?

"You'll be here next week, right?"

We are going for some sort of record here. This is the response that I have gotten from the school psychologist at Emily's Early Learning Center for 6 straight encounters. The first time was the week I asked them to help her get into the autism program. That day I spoke both with the director of this program and this psychologist. They were going to decide which school would do the evaluation and get back to me. The following week, the psy said that Emily's current school would do the eval, and that she and the school social worker would observe Emily the following week. When we came back in, the psy told me that the social worker didn't show up, so we would have to reschedule for the next week. That week rolled around, and they both observed her in the gross motor room (Emily's favorite place in the world) and then psy came in for the group sing. The next week, I was expecting the results of the eval, but instead the psy gave me forms to fill out and bring in the following week. I gave them to Emily's teacher on Monday, and when we came to the school, the psy still hadn't reviewed them. She had the nerve to say, "You'll be here next week, right?"

To add more salt to my wounds, Emily's teacher asked me, "Did R tell you how many good social cues she picked up on when she observed Emily?" Warning bells started going off in my head. I wanted to cry or bang my head against the wall! A school psychologist in a center for children with disabilities should know better! Makes me want to send her the link to Autism Speaks so that she can study up on the excellent video clips they have. We are wasting precious time. Anyway, when she said that about next week, I told her yes, we would be there, but I really wanted to get this going sooner. She said that she had my phone number and walked away.

So, I did what I probably should not have. I called the director of the other program. Not that it did any good because she still has not returned my call. Jason and I talked about it and I am going to call the psy this afternoon if I have not heard from her. I have the phone number for the director of Emily's school that I can call as well, but in past experience making too many people mad just hurts my kids. I know the Lord is in control, and I need to hand this over. It is so hard.


As a side note, I do love, love, love Emily's teacher. She has been a lifeline for me, and I refuse to let her get stuck in the middle of all this.